Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
