Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
