The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I stole a fireplace last night.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
