Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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