I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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