There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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