How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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