So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
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ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
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HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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