You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
