There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize