Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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