I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize