i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
