I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I believe in your delicious
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
