I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize