3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I didn't notice because vodka
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
