Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
