Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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