I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize