I think scott just propositioned me for sex
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize