Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
