I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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