I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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