my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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