I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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