Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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