Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
