He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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