Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
