Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
