The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Someone signed my nipple.
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