Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
