Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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