Your mouth is God's brothel.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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