what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
