And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
