i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
