i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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