is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize