Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize