So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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