everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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