the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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