"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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