remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
