no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize