come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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