3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
