i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
