my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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