We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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