There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
