something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
