If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
