It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Randomize
