There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
