HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
