HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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